Yesterday was my due date. I had a distinct feeling of emptyness yesterday, and discovered that shopping (and spending too much), eating and drinking didn't fill it. My kids got squeezed far too much and I still felt empty. I felt physically empty, because I should have a big baby inside making me ache and waddle. I also feel a weird sort of mental emptyness. I should be exhausted, worrying over a new baby, stressed over crying and also filled with joy and love for my baby. But life is depressingly quiet and relaxed.
One thing filled that emptyness last night though - my friends raised a glass to Eleanor. It showed me how many people care, how I'm not forgotten and also reminded me how Laura is a secret planner extrodinaire!
Thank you ALL so much for your ongoing support - it means so much to me to know that we are remembered, because our pain goes on even once others move forward.